HUMAN CHEMISTRY!

  • ELEMENT NAME: MAN
  • SYMBOL: XY
  • ATOMIC WEIGHT: (180 +/- 50)
  • PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
    Solid At Room Temperature And Can Easily Be Bent Out Of Shape.
    Usually Dense (Sometimes Flaky)
    Pure Samples Difficult To Obtain.
  • CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
    Tends To Bond With Element WO (Woman) Any Chance It Gets.
    Tends To Form Strong Bonds With Self.
  • USAGE: NONE KNOWN.
    Possible Good Methane Source.
    (Good Samples Produce Large Quantities.)
  • CAUTIONS:
    Becomes Explosive When Mixed With Element KD (Child) For Prolonged Periods.
    (Can Be Neutralized By Dousing With Alcohol).
    In The Absence Of WO, This Element Rapidly Decomposes And Begins To Smell.
  • COMMENTS:
    Aged Samples Unable To Conduct Electricity As Easily As Young Samples.


  • ELEMENT NAME: WOMAN
  • SYMBOL: WO
  • ATOMIC WEIGHT: (DON'T DARE ASK!)
  • PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
    • Various Sizes, Shapes And Colors.
    Generally Round In Form.
    Boils At Any Temperature, Yet Freezes At Any Time.
    Melts When Treated Properly.
  • CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
    Very Active Substance.
    Very Unstable.
    Bonds Strongly To Gold, Silver, Platinum And Precious Gems.
    Able To Absorb Great Amounts Of Exotic Food.
  • USAGE: Highly ornamental.
    Great Catalyst For Dispersion Of Wealth.
    The Most Powerful Income Reducing Agent Known.
    Often Used For Cell Reproduction.
  • CAUTIONS:
    Highly Explosive In Inexperienced Hands.
    Violent when left alone.
    When Combined With XY, The Element KD Is Created.
  • COMMENTS:
    Turns Slightly Green When Exposed To A Superior Specimen.
    Very Bitter If Not Used Properly.


  • ELEMENT NAME: CHILD
  • SYMBOL: KD
  • ATOMIC WEIGHT: (0 +/- 18)
  • PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
    Weight Varies (Depending On Elements Age)
    Height Varies (Many Exceptions Noted)
    Usually Firm (But Mutations Exist)
  • CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
    Very Active Substance.
    Unstable.
    Great For Junk Food Absorption.
    An Affinity To Replace Elements XY And WO.
  • USAGE: None Known!
    Possible Catalyst For Depleting Properties of Other Elements.
    Excellent Element For Probing The Unknown.
  • CAUTIONS:
    Highly Unstable Even In Experienced Hands.
    Tends To Deterioate When Idle.
    Placement With XY Or WO Can Create Undesirable Results.
  • COMMENTS:
    Unpredictable Results When Attempting To Shape.
    Unreliable Results When Used In Any Manner.
    Undependable Results When Specific Uses Are Required.